As Escape: My situation isn’t authentic, safe, or good enough connection for me. I must go somewhere else to pass time. Examples:
- Disassociation and compliance
- video game immersion to avoid life
- substance abuse
- Workaholism so I can avoid my home life without thinking about it
Faulty Attachment: How I know I’m loved, happy, or feel valuable isn’t by someone being delighted to be with me (including my own delight to be with myself). Instead, something that makes me feel really competent/loved/strong/valuable/etc at least for a moment or passes the pain with confirmation of those deep wounds and fears.
- Video games where I feel capable
- Substance abuse because I feel better
- Workaholism so I feel like an achiever
Something that looks like addiction to get away versus to feel better may have the same exact behaviors but for quite different reasons.